. not on anyone’s radar.”Later, I reviewed my scribbled notes, my hastily sketched map linking the various Nazi compounds. The nexus ran through o...d connections such as cross-referencing the manufacturer of swastika posters with another one who specialized in Confederate flags.Replica swords were popular in the South; that factory shared a metal supplier with a family operation in Idaho that crafted Nazi helmets. A lot of tenuous, probably meaningless, points of interaction. But ... you never. Her concern abouttonight not being the night was not based on Luke's lack of wanting her.Her boyfriend's eyes told the truth about the desire he had to share abed with her. Tonight might not go how she planned because Luke would beputting her wellbeing above his wants. He might come to the conclusion amoment of pleasure was not worth the risk and his love losing herdreams.Mary felt taking the chance was worth it. She wanted her first time tobe with the perfect man. She knew that the memory. Warm. It's strange there'snothing all of my senses blank except for this warmth like I'm facingthe sun. It's overbearing with nothing else it's almost painful but Ineed to feel something, my being screams for it. I feel it moving overme, what felt like sunlight changed, like sinking face down in to a hotbath, it's bliss, I never realized I was cold, until I wasn't.Then a break, a chill, a shiver, a weight like I was filled with sand. Ifelt a bed under me with a realization that it was a dream. I had been loyal to my ex-wife beyond all reason and I felt betrayed. I had in fact been betrayed. Any trust I had in women vanished as soon as she filed for divorce. I knew I was loosing my stepson, he no longer called me Dad. I still lived in our house, too lazy to sell it, too embarrassed to go back home. I didn’t need to move closer to work, it was a short ten minute drive on the state highway. Apparently I was not ready for a real relationship. I was a very confirmed bachelor and over.
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